Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
