is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
