Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
ugly people sure do ruin things
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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