I wish I could teleport
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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