I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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