We won't sleep together?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
