Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize