my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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