Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the day after is always just damage control
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
