Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
