Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize