Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
