If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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