3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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