the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
