Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize