Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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