every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
