but the lizard people decide everything anyway
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
