Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
