Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
