Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
