Can Purell be used as lube?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
