There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
