theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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