he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
