Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
