Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
