Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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