He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
