I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
