For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
