Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
