loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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