Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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