THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
