Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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