my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Someone signed my nipple.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
