going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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