One girl and one boy is just not enough.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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