I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
