ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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