love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
