dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
