You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
