This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
