just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
