Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
