I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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