I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
