Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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