I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
