Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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