I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
