So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
