he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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