Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize