You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
