no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
